Finem respice

Well, like probably many other blogs, I'm going to write a little bit about how today is the last day of the calendar year. Before I do so, I would like to first of all wish everyone a Happy Christmas and a similarly Happy New Year.

Today is called Hogmanay in Scotland, and the origins of the word are disputed. Anyway, there are some traditions/superstitions that are no longer carried out, hence why we notice them and talk about it. One of them is called first-footing, where the first person to come through the door after midnight should be a tall dark man (blond-haired men were not welcomed after Viking invasions, so it goes) bearing gifts of coal (for warmth), black bun (for food), salt (for wealth), and a hawf-bottle (an alcoholic drink, usually whisky, for obvious reasons).
Another little fact about Scotland and Hogmanay/Ne'ersday is that in the past it took place of Christmas, since Christmas celebrations were discouraged by the presbyterian Church of Scotland for being too Catholic. In fact, my dad remembers it being so until the 1960s, when my grandfather, a pretty staunch Presbyterian*, would work on Christmas Day.

And so we reach the end of AD 2009, and this inevitably causes everyone to carry out evaluations of the past year. For me, the year has been split in two. The time before me going abroad, which was roughly the first eight months, and then the latter four months in France. During the latter period, with lots of solitary free time, I spent a lot of it researching my faith and learning more, and everyone has noticed in this short time of being back in Scotland.

Finally, I would like to ask you to pray for my parish priest, who had a heart attack on Sunday and is in hospital. It looks as though he will be taking retirement even earlier than was planned (though he was meant to have taken it last September). However, his retirement spells the end of the parish, ultimately, and so please pray for my parish as well.

All the best for 2010.



*an example of how he thought would be the time when he wouldn't speak to my father since he was courting my mother, a Catholic. Nevertheless, my grandfather was always courteous to my mother. Then, there is the story of how he drank quite a bit of whisky in order to endure my parents' wedding in a Catholic church, somewhere he clearly had never planned on entering.

In Conceptione Immaculata Beatæ Mariæ Virginis

Introit
Gaudens gaudebo in Domino, et exultabit anima mea in Deo meo :

induit me vestimentis salutis; et indumento justitiæ circumdedit me,

quasi sponsam ornatam monibilis suis.

Exaltabo te, Domine, quoniam suscepisti me :

nec delectasti inimicos meos super me.

Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto,

sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper,

et in sæcula sæculorum. Amen.

Gaudens gaudebo in Domino, et exultabit anima mea in Deo meo :

induit me vestimentis salutis; et indumento justitiæ circumdedit me,

quasi sponsam ornatam monibilis suis.

Collect

Deus, qui per immaculatam Virginis Conceptionem dignum Filio tuo habitaculum præparasti : quæsumus; ut, qui ex morte Filii tui prævisa eam ab omne labe præservasti, nos quoque mundos eius intercessione ad te pervenire concedas. Per eundem Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti, Deus, per omnia sæcula sæculorum. Amen.

Gradual

Benedicta es tu Virgo Maria

a Domino Deo excelso præ omnibus

mulieribus super terram.

Tu gloria Jerusalem, tu lætitia Israel,

tu honorificentia populi nostri.

Alleluia, alleluia.

Tota pulchra es, Maria,

et macula originalis non est in te.

Alleluia.

Offertory

Ave, Maria, gratia plena :

Dominus tecum : benedicta tu

in mulieribus, alleluia.

Secret

Salutarem hostiam, quam in solemnitate immaculate Conceptionis beatae Virginis Mariae tibi, Domine, offerimus, suscipe et praesta: ut, sicut illam tua gratia prasveniente ab omni labe immunem profitemur; ita eius intercessione a culpis omnibus liberemur. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum, qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti, Deus, per omnia sæcula sæculorum. Amen.

Communion

Gloriosa dicta sunt de te, Maria :

quia fecit tibi magna qui potens est.

Post-Communion

Sacramenta quae sumpsimus, Domine Deus noster: illius in nobis culpse vulnera, reparent; a qua immaculatam beatae Mariae Conceptionem singulariter praeservasti. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum, qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti, Deus, per omnia sæcula sæculorum. Amen.

Supercherie

Here are some lies which are whispered into your mental ear either in or near the occasion of sin, or after the loss of sanctifying grace. Prenez garde!

• You've been good for so long, one little look won't hurt.
• Well, you've sinned now, may as well just look again anyway. You'll have to go to confession anyway.
• You've done it again. Face it, you can't win.
• Just go along to the pub/to a bar. You can't stay shut inside all the time. Besides, nothing will happen.
• You should probably just stay inside. You know you're just putting yourself in temptation's path. Best be alone.
• Go to confession later. You need time to work through the sin.
• It wasn't that bad. Was there really deliberate consent? Or full knowledge?
• You probably shouldn't pray the rosary - you know you'll just get distracted and won't pray it well.
• Just take a peek.
• Thoughts don't count. Just indulge them.
• Phew! You've got that grace now. Just relax and enjoy it. Don't think about it.
• Think of how the priest judges you for confessing that pathetic sin yet again. Come on, change the record!
• Your sexuality is a gift. You shouldn't suppress your natural desires.
• How could God let you down like that? You've asked for His help time and time again yet look at you - fallen again.
• All those prayers to the saints seem to be useless. You're not making any progress whatsoever.
• The Lord won't mind you receiving Him now. Just confess later on in the week. It's too embarrassing not to receive. Everyone else does so you'd stand out. Everyone would judge you.
  

Slow awakening...

"But why do we have to go to Church?? It's boooooringggggg"
"Come on now, we're going to be late. Get your coat on!"
"How come Eddie doesn't have to go?"
"..."


This was a frequent conversation between my mum and me from when I was about nine to about twelve, though perhaps they stopped a little earlier or later. I then heard my mum have the same conversation with my younger brother, as he reached that age. I think it lasted a little longer for him, though.
But it was a mélange of reasons why this conversation stopped, and why I started liking going to Church, and this started the ball rolling to where I am now, and hopefully keep going until the day I die. First of all, I began to develop an interest in languages, and particularly in the roots of words. Now, in terms of English as a Germanic language, the resources are lacking. Sure, I can compare English with the other Germanic languages, which includes German, but comparing them with the "parent language" was much more difficult. So I found that it was much easier to investigate the Romance languages, and this was much more interesting, for there was still a huge corpus of Latin, which I considered the "parent language" of French, Italian, Spanish, etc. Therefore, I would write tables and tables of comparisons of various words; lists and lists of the stuff. I began to investigate why Latin was so inflected in comparison with the Romance languages of today, etc.
I became hungrier and hungrier for texts for comparison. The delight I had in finding out that the reason "factum" was "hecho" in Spanish, "fatto" in Italian and "fait" in French was similar to "ocho" "otto" and "huit" coming from octo (I'm simplifying things here, obviously). Now, where else was a better place to find texts for comparison than prayers! The number of times I wrote out Pater Noster, Padre nuestro, Notre Père, etc, you wouldn't believe. It was the same with the Credo. And the Hail Mary. And the Angelus....
Now, my skills for searching things on the internet were still limited at the time, and so I found it difficult to find some of these texts. Furthermore, by writing these comparisons, my interest in learning Latin grew ever greater (I've still not satisfied this yet). So I asked my gran about the "Latin Mass". She always said it was more beautiful, and I had the impression that if she knew about one nearby, she'd be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
So she searched in her wardrobe and in her chest of drawers until she found a missal from 1942. It's like some ancient relic, where the pages are extremely fragile (indeed, a lot of the important pages are missing unfortunately, probably from overuse). I loved it, but at the same time hated the fact that I couldn't use it.
So as time went by, my internet searching skills grew and I found ways of watching the mass of 1962 online (there were some differences between the 1962 mass and the missal I have). But generally, I realised that there was a lot more to this church business than just going along every Sunday. So over the past four years I've been ever so slowly learning more and more about the faith. Just within the last two and a half months I've learnt loads, since I'm on my own a lot more and spend far too much time reading blogs and stuff. Furthermore, here in Nantes they have an FSSP church where I could go to daily TLM if I wanted too. Unfortunately, I'm too lazy to motivate myself to go every day, but I have made the effort. I also go to confession a lot more frequently here. I'd been slowly increasing my frequency to go to confession over the last two years when I discovered a weekly confession slot in the centre of Edinburgh. My local parish only offered it on Saturday mornings, and there was no confessional, so it was often too much of a chat and not enough penitential confession.
Basically, my interest in languages (a gift from God) lead me to be more interested in my faith. And my gran fostered that faith with discussions. Not high level theological discussions (which I like) but with simple devotional discussions and how God's providence has enabled her to carry the crosses in her life - in short, how God is good.

Birth-again-day

Twenty years ago today I was baptised in St Winefride's Church in Neston, England. I'd never given the day much thought previously, but now I'd like to thank God for this wonderful grace and sacrament.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, ...

... and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen

As we approach the end of All Souls' week, I've actually spent a very strange week, but one realising how important this week is, even though in previous years it went by me virtually unnoticed. It's only recently that I've understood the doctrines of Purgatory and of Indulgences in any sort of way. They are still a deep mystery, but nevertheless they give me great joy and hope. Both are examples of God's great mercy, that he grants us a way of entering heaven even though are souls aren't spotless when we die. Indulgences are also a way for us to extend our charitable mission to the souls in Purgatory.

At my most recent confession, the priest (in very rapid French so I may have missed some of what he said) explained that obtaining a plenary indulgence for a soul in purgatory, who can no longer merit, has a twofold effect. First of all, by the good work done for the indulgence, along with the necessary conditions, allows the merit to be applied to the soul in purgatory, thus allowing them (if a plenary indulgence) to enter into the beatific vision. Then, you now have a friend in heaven who will undoubtedly intercede for you before the Lord, as you did for the soul.

Anyway, let us keep praying for our deceased brethren especially this month, but that doesn't mean forget them throughout the rest of the year. Have masses said for your deceased loved ones, pray for those people you read in newspapers, for those who die in any conflicts, for all those who have no one to pray for them specifically, and build up friends in heaven.

At last, found a Church

Well, I never managed to get to St Félix church as I missed the tram, but I went on instead to St Nicolas in the centre of town. Thankfully, the priest there doesn't seem to go on ego-trips, and also likes to sing the collect and postcommunion, which I think is a good sign. His homily was good and stuck to the the readings and the gospel and to the theme of missions, and he resolutely did things by the book, so even when the final hymn was sung before the dismissal had been said, he didn't just let it pass but then said the dismissal once the hymn had finished. Thanks be to God for such priests. Less orthodox priests would probably have let it slide.
I will still go to St Félix next week as it's much closer and would be handier, but if it has people grabbing my hand for the Our Father like the other church a few weeks ago, I'll just stick with St Nicolas.
People still stood during the consecration, like in every Ordinary Form mass I've been to here. It must be a "custom" that's crept in, but I'm definitely not adopting it. Luckily, the people in front of me (who were French) also knelt, and not just for the consecration, but for the whole Eucharistic prayer :)
I've unfortunately not been able to go to most of the student chaplaincy meetings on Wednesday evenings (mainly because I have a class till right before it starts and also bringing something to eat is an entry fee, which I wouldn't be able to do without carrying it about all day in my bag). Nevertheless, I will try and go again because I met some really nice people there. I can also at some point ask them about the French phobia for kneeling. Though that is for later.

French Feminists

At my French evening class, we were discussing mixed gender classrooms and schools and how people nowadays are reconsidering it. One of the groups cited to now maybe be opponents of mixed classrooms were feminists. When referring to them, the pronoun used was "elles". Now immediately the thought came to my mind "What if there was a male feminist?". If there is even just one male feminist in the group referred to, the pronoun used MUST be "ils", that is, the masculine third person plural. I wonder how the feminists feel about that? And with that, those who support inclusive language in the Bible (which for me is unfaithfulness on the part of the translator)?

Purgatorio

For all I was moaning and complaining about the Mass I went to last week, that Mass was actually less excruciating than the Mass in the Extraordinary Form I've just come back from.
How so???
One biiig difference. I was able to receive the Lord last week, but not this week. Sitting in the pew while everyone else goes up for Communion is an awful experience, and I liken it to how it must be in purgatory. The worst thing was that I was sooo close to being able to receive him. There were confessions on at the side during Mass (something I've never seen before but I know it is allowed) and so I thought I would go. After much deliberation (as I hate standing up and walking along the nave during Mass) I went to wait in the queue at the Offertory. However, one of the women in front took a rather long time which meant that I was waiting in the queue throughout the entire canon and the consecration. So when the woman in front came out of the confessional, the priest came out too as he had to help distribute communion. Too late! I returned to my seat and suffered throughout the rest of the Mass. I think the Lord was teaching me a lesson though through this suffering. He made me appreciate again how absolutely wonderful, sublime and humbling it is that we are able to receive Him.

I'm still having trouble finding a Church that isn't stark raving bonkers here. There's still St Felix to attend, so I'll try that next week. Although the Mass I attended today was truly beautiful and dignified, I'm reluctant to go to the Extraordinary Form too often, as I say the Liturgy of the Hours in the Ordinary Form, and often they don't correlate (for example, today's Gospel in the EF was the cycle A Gospel, concerning the wedding feast - the weeping and grinding of teeth part was a bit like how I felt during communion). It becomes more problematic when it comes to feasts such as Christ the King, which is basically a month apart. Also, I believe the Divine Office should spring from the daily Masses and especially the Sunday Mass, which has its own propers for the Gospel Canticles, and so they should match. Nevertheless, I can't bring myself to go back to an ego-centric, personality worshipping Mass like the one last week. Hopefully St Felix is reasonably sane.

Modernist confusion

Oh dear - sometimes reading the internet can be a mistake. I came across a Catholic blog which mentioned a book concerning EWTN, and how it's now basically turned modernist, and what's worse, modernist with some genuine orthodoxy, meaning that people receive truth with falshood. I read on and read some reviews about the book in forums etc., and found that people said that while there may be some truth in it, the author of the book is extremely traditionalist and so you have to take it with a pinch of salt. But then you look into the background of the person who wrote that and... well, you get the picture.
I was shocked (as were a few people when they heard this accusation, from what the forums said) that EWTN was actually dangerous to watch. Having just moved to France and having little else to do, I started watching it in my room from the very same laptop that I'm sitting at right now. It has helped me pass the time and I liked the devotional aspect of it, such as the Litanies and the Rosary lead by Mother Angelica.
(Incidentally, what is clear from the many reviews and forums and excerpts from the book is that when Mother Angelica ran it, it really WAS very orthodox - even the author of the book praises her courage in her stance against liberal Bishops in the US).
But now it's infiltrated by Modernism. I really need to read Pascendi Dominici Gregis and Lamentabili Sane again - I still have trouble identifying what is Modernist (which I suppose is the danger!). Have I said Modernist things? Looking at my previous post, perhaps I have? All this makes one just want to shut up and never leave the house.
Then I remember - the narrow gate. The path that leads to life is by the small gate and narrow path. Better keep reading then...

A weapon of Victory, the Holy Rosary.

Today, while saying the Rosary, something unbelievable happened. When meditating on the Lord's glorious Resurrection, I experienced a great yet very calm joy. I realised that I've found it very easy to mourn the Lord when considering his most painful and most loving Passion, but when it came to the Resurrection, I found it stirred nothing within me. Good Friday seemed a lot more significant because of this. Perhaps this is because I've experienced death, but the mystery of the Resurrection was beyond my comprehension, even my emotional comprehension. Of course, feelings are not what should guide one's faith, and the fact that I felt nothing did not make me once doubt the Resurrection. Also, the mystery of the Resurrection is beyond complete comprehension. However, I think what I sensed today was Christ's victory. The Jews expected a militaristic Messiah/Christ, one who would lead them to victory over their oppressors and enemies. And Christ did achieve this through his resurrection victory. His victory over death and sin - the real oppressors. His victory over Satan - the real enemy. The Lord conquered with love.
It is perhaps appropriate that this sense of the victory of Christ came to me both today and the fact that I was saying the Rosary. For today is the memoria of Our Lady of the Rosary, which, when it was first commemorated, was called Our Lady of Victory.
Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

De la traduction française de la sainte Messe

Ok, I was going to write this another day but the Mass earlier on has been playing over and over in my head all day and I have to get some things off my chest.
The French translation of the Mass isn't great. Let's have a look at the poorest translation:

Prions ensemble, au moment d'offrir le sacrifice de toute d'Église.
Pour la gloire de Dieu et le salut du monde.

Now, this is a translation of:

Orate, fratres: ut meum ac vestrum sacrificium acceptabile fiat apud Deum Patrem omnipotentem.
Suscipiat Dominus sacrificium de manibus tuis ad laudem et gloriam nominis sui, ad utilitatem quoque nostram totiusque Ecclesiæ suæ sanctæ.

Eh? I hear you say. Exactly. This I wouldn't even call dynamic translation, but rather "let's make up stuff - naebody kens Latin anyways, but?"

Other examples include the Confiteor, which, like the English translation, only has one strike of the breast (I'd always been led to believe that it was only the English translation that had just one). Also, the "mea maxima culpa" is rendered by "oui, j'ai vraiment péché". Yeah, I really sinned, ken?
Like in the English, the "intres sub tectum meam" has been replaced by "recevoir". There is the flimsy argument that in days of yore one would have said "No, I cannot receive him at the moment for I am attending to my toilette". But those days are gone and no one thinks really of receiving to mean letting someone enter "under your roof".
One thing I do like is that they've kept the "Et cum spiritu tuo." form. At least something was translated.

Now I've got that out of the way, let me examine the Mass of this morning. I have the sheet here to remind me what was done away with throughout the Mass. But first let me set the scene. The church is square and boxy with a high roof. I can only think of one statue, being one of Mary and the Child Jesus, but so modern as to render it useless in aiding prayer. There were colourful banners on the brick walls displaying nothing discernible other than a vague stained glass pattern. The altar was plain and behind the altar was the... wait, where is it? Where is the tabernacle? And what is that potted plant doing there where the tabernacle should be? There are steps to it. It is raised up slightly. Surely that's where the tabernacle should be, rather than a potted plant. Ah yes, that's it over to the side behind all those pews facing away from it so it is impossible to sit facing it. Ah yes I see now.

Got the picture?

Now, as this was the Rentrée mass, there was a 10 minute blurb by the priests (none of whom were wearing chasubles) and then Mass started. The penitential rite consisted of one line, which in English reads "Lord, I welcome your forgiveness, give me the strength to live in [your] love."

Then a vague Gloria. The first reading was read, then a sort of psalm-like hymn was sung and then straight to the Gospel, where the gospel book was waved about. No second reading. And only half of the Gospel was read (the half that may be omitted - the obligatory part was ignored).
Then the creed was replaced with another hymn which says that you're saved if only you say out loud that:
Jesus is Lord, God resurrected Him, God is creator, He made man in His image, the Spirit is Love, He gave birth to the Church.
How does that compare with the Niceo-Constantinopolitan Creed?
The Liturgy of the Eucharist went by in a similar fashion, with the odd person here and there bothering to kneel at all. The concelebrating priests mulled about and the deacons were clearly just there for show. There was never a moment of silence - there was always some guitar or tambourine plonking in the background.
Then it ended with applause.

Oh and like I said in the previous post, we all HAD to hold hands at the Our Father.

God bless.

Is Mass supposed to be this embarrassing?

Hello all you non-existent readers. I've just come back from my fifth Sunday mass here in Nantes. Over the past few weeks I've been going to various churches in the centre and nearby. Is it ok to "shop around" for a parish, or should one just accept the nearest, whatever it's like? If so, it's going to be a tortuous five months of Mass here. The delightful church nearest to me just had the "Messe de la rentrée", which for some unknown reason meant lots of clapping, holding hands and skipping parts of the liturgy. There was no second reading, for example, and the psalm was replaced by a vaguely psalm-like hymn (a cheery, happy-clappy one too, of course). The whole time I was praying "please let the consecration be untouched - just let the consecration be ok". And it was, Deo gratias. The only "problem" is that people don't do kneeling in France, for some reason. The only Mass I've been to here where everybody knelt throughout the Canon was at an Extraordinary Form mass (don't worry, it was FSSP). Now, I'm fairly traditional, but I have been to "traditional" Ordinary Form masses, so I know they can be done. Just watch EWTN for example. But the mass today almost made me want to cry. You know that when there's an applause at the end of mass, it's generally not been great.

And we all HAD to hold hands at the Our Father (eyes rolling)...

(Post coming soon on my thoughts on the French translation of the Mass.)

Catholic Scot in France

Orite?
I'm a young Catholic man who tries to live according to Christ's love. I have decided to start a blog (though is there no already enough, perhaps?) because I am living a semi-monastic existence here in the student halls in France, and need something to channel my thoughts. I can guarantee that this will not be a daily blog. I am too lazy for that, though if it goes well the posts may become more frequent.
God bless.