Oh, how I shudder at the thought...

Not too long ago, Jeffrey Tucker over at the Chant Café blog wrote a bit on those terrible teenage bands who make a loud noise each Sunday and seem to be scattered all around the world. To my great embarrassment, I can recall my own involvement in such a group. Firstly, here's a snip of what Mr Tucker says:

Of course they have no idea what they are doing. No one has ever discussed with them anything about the musical demands of the Roman Rite. They know nothing about the proper orientation for making music at Mass. The liturgical calender is an abstraction. Terms like propers or dialogues are gibberish to them. Most of the players can’t even read music. To them it is an opportunity to see and be seen, a weekly talent gig, and they probably don’t mind it that people give them credit for their service to the parish.

The pastor and celebrant don’t like it any more than anyone else. But the parents of these kids are important people in the parish. The band doesn’t charge any money for their services, such as they are.

Sadly, this somewhat describes my own experience. I played keyboard, so I was the one who had to learn the actual tune. The other two just needed to either learn the chord sequence (i.e. super easy) or the drum beat (cringe!!). The whole experience was awful and, as you may have gathered, had a traumatic psychological effect on me.

This man seems to be happy playing the guitar. No such joy for me or my two friends, or the congregation, for that matter.

 
There were other reasons why the whole thing was terrible, not just the fact that the music was atrocious and messed up the whole thing. Mass no longer seemed about God - we were too preoccupied with ourselves and whether the amp was at the right settings. The (justified) disapproving looks from the congregation one Sunday upset me so much that I thankfully refused to carry on with it. I also protested that I had all the work to do (in my mind learning a chord sequence or a simple drum beat was much easier than learning a tune).
We were trying to fit a jigsaw piece from a Disney jigsaw puzzle for 5 year olds into a 5000-piece puzzle of the Sistine Chapel. It just didn't fit and was totally inappropriate.
I like to think this was God's way of making a point to me, namely that keyboards, drums and guitars are NOT suited to Catholic liturgy and that music should lift people to God. Somehow, I don't imagine singing Gregorian chant is nearly as distracting for the choir as strumming a guitar or playing drums is for those who play them at Mass. I can't even remember praying at those Masses I played at.

Sad video :-(

Just today I happened to come across a video of a priest's ordination at my parish church. The ordination took place twenty years ago this year. This means that I was less than one year old, and also living doon sooth at the time, but I do remember much of the layout as the church was then. The tabernacle was in the corner of the sanctuary, as I remember it was when I first started serving on the altar when I was about seven or eight. I remember the large cross behind the altar which has now been moved to upstairs, to the Venerable Margaret Sinclair Chapel as it is now known as. Back then it was just the choir loft. And this takes me nicely to the next point. The music. All which is moderately terrible was played at this mass and was accompanied with guitar, flute and tambourine. Now, these things I can cope with, but what really dismayed me was at the canon - first of all, the celebrant bishop asked all to stand during the eucharistic prayer. Why? Why? Everyone had already knelt during the litany, so why couldn't they kneel at the moment of sacrifice? I don't know...
Secondly, the vessels used were not "of a noble material" and gilt on the interior. They were just ceramic bowls. This causes me to make a big sad face :-( and makes my heart sink. It also explains a few things about a certain letter I sent just over a year ago...

Now all this makes me realise how different things are already. Much of this is due to the most recent parish priest, who retired in June this year after ten years at the parish, so he is very much the priest I remember. Unfortunately, for many his personality was too much and they left to other parishes. Despite this, the changes he made were generally good. He moved the tabernacle from the corner to behind the altar. He moved the Saint Margaret statue from a corner of the porch to inside the body of the church and made it stand out a bit more. He made the sanctuary more noble looking, though he wished he had made more changes (i.e. rip out what remained of the 1970s wreckovations). He also converted the choir loft into the chapel I mentioned above and installed two more stained glass windows there. Most recently he placed a large vessel with holy water in it for people to take some home for them. Unfortunately, many people had left already before these changes were made and so they never got the benefit of them.

Lastly, the ordination video made me think again about the question of vocation. Now, I know I will not be a priest and the reasons are numerous. One of the main ones is that I am far too proud a person and I'm a gloryseeker - not exactly good qualities. Yet, I still have "dreams" or "fantasies" about being one and this video made me think about this further. If God had made things slightly different for me, perhaps I would have become a priest. But it doesn't do to dwell in the realm of fantasy and of ifs and maybes. So I just thank God for what He has called me to do and I just trust in His plans.

One last word about the video - what was abundantly clear was that if a person living only seventy years ago were to watch this video then, they wouldn't recognise a thing...

Marshmallow liturgy

While doing some browsing I came across a website called "The Center for Progressive Christianity". On this website there was a section on liturgy and asked people to write in and submit possible liturgy texts! So far, they have a sample of some of the texts already submitted. Check them out for some light entertainment if you want.

One of my favourite submissions is this:

One: May God the World Maker bless you;
All: Let us delight in sunlight and starlight and surprises of the turning earth.
One: May Jesus the Peace Maker bless you;
Many: Let us celebrate Life as it is found in this community, in all its struggles and joys.
One: May Spirit the Journey Maker bless you;
Many: Let us walk with saints and angels in the wisdom and wildness of Love. Amen.

Notice how the presider is called "One". Another suggestion, presumably "equivalent" to "May almighty God have mercy on us..." after the confiteor is:

Leader: The God of all creation welcomes us with open arms,
offering love and hope and faith.
We are forgiven. Amen.

Liturgical dancers hailing mother Gaia, perhaps

I also recommend checking out the communion poem talking of "the life of the agribusiness executive" and "the accountant who does the taxes for the artist who makes the ads" and the pluralism and earthday liturgies further down.

De la traduction française de la sainte Messe

Ok, I was going to write this another day but the Mass earlier on has been playing over and over in my head all day and I have to get some things off my chest.
The French translation of the Mass isn't great. Let's have a look at the poorest translation:

Prions ensemble, au moment d'offrir le sacrifice de toute d'Église.
Pour la gloire de Dieu et le salut du monde.

Now, this is a translation of:

Orate, fratres: ut meum ac vestrum sacrificium acceptabile fiat apud Deum Patrem omnipotentem.
Suscipiat Dominus sacrificium de manibus tuis ad laudem et gloriam nominis sui, ad utilitatem quoque nostram totiusque Ecclesiæ suæ sanctæ.

Eh? I hear you say. Exactly. This I wouldn't even call dynamic translation, but rather "let's make up stuff - naebody kens Latin anyways, but?"

Other examples include the Confiteor, which, like the English translation, only has one strike of the breast (I'd always been led to believe that it was only the English translation that had just one). Also, the "mea maxima culpa" is rendered by "oui, j'ai vraiment péché". Yeah, I really sinned, ken?
Like in the English, the "intres sub tectum meam" has been replaced by "recevoir". There is the flimsy argument that in days of yore one would have said "No, I cannot receive him at the moment for I am attending to my toilette". But those days are gone and no one thinks really of receiving to mean letting someone enter "under your roof".
One thing I do like is that they've kept the "Et cum spiritu tuo." form. At least something was translated.

Now I've got that out of the way, let me examine the Mass of this morning. I have the sheet here to remind me what was done away with throughout the Mass. But first let me set the scene. The church is square and boxy with a high roof. I can only think of one statue, being one of Mary and the Child Jesus, but so modern as to render it useless in aiding prayer. There were colourful banners on the brick walls displaying nothing discernible other than a vague stained glass pattern. The altar was plain and behind the altar was the... wait, where is it? Where is the tabernacle? And what is that potted plant doing there where the tabernacle should be? There are steps to it. It is raised up slightly. Surely that's where the tabernacle should be, rather than a potted plant. Ah yes, that's it over to the side behind all those pews facing away from it so it is impossible to sit facing it. Ah yes I see now.

Got the picture?

Now, as this was the Rentrée mass, there was a 10 minute blurb by the priests (none of whom were wearing chasubles) and then Mass started. The penitential rite consisted of one line, which in English reads "Lord, I welcome your forgiveness, give me the strength to live in [your] love."

Then a vague Gloria. The first reading was read, then a sort of psalm-like hymn was sung and then straight to the Gospel, where the gospel book was waved about. No second reading. And only half of the Gospel was read (the half that may be omitted - the obligatory part was ignored).
Then the creed was replaced with another hymn which says that you're saved if only you say out loud that:
Jesus is Lord, God resurrected Him, God is creator, He made man in His image, the Spirit is Love, He gave birth to the Church.
How does that compare with the Niceo-Constantinopolitan Creed?
The Liturgy of the Eucharist went by in a similar fashion, with the odd person here and there bothering to kneel at all. The concelebrating priests mulled about and the deacons were clearly just there for show. There was never a moment of silence - there was always some guitar or tambourine plonking in the background.
Then it ended with applause.

Oh and like I said in the previous post, we all HAD to hold hands at the Our Father.

God bless.