Happy Christmas!

Best wishes to you all at Christmas!

Till my heart, Lord

A few days ago I read this piece on Mark Mallett's blog. What Mallett mentions about constantly lacking virtue really hit home. Let's just say, my recidivism rate over the last month or so was very very awful. Even so, when I went to confession, my sorrow and contriteness for my sins was genuine and my thanks to God for his mercy and forgiveness real. Yet shortlived. Much to my great shame, I fell back to my old ways, and all too quickly. I had been wondering why this was the case since my fervour and resolve not to sin again seemed so concrete after going to confession. Mallett, when struggling with the same situation, had an epiphany while adoring the Blessed Sacrament. He realised his heart was rocky, similar to the rock patches on which seeds fall in the Parable of the Sower. When God pours out his grace, those with rocky hearts welcome it with joy and thanks at first, but when a trial or temptation comes along, the root of the seed withers and fades. Clearly, my heart is like this rocky ground on which God's seeds of mercy and love fall. It cannot properly take root and so I fall at the first hurdle.

In considering this, I pondered how my heart could be changed from being rocky to being fertile or rich soil. As always, when seeking an answer, look to Jesus on the cross and ask him in communion and he will provide the answer. It was similar to the answer Mallett received. Works of charity and self-sacrifice are the ploughshares which will dig up the rocky ground and transform it, making it deeper so that roots may go further when seed is planted. Of course, like ploughing a field, this is hard work and can be painful. Yet hopefully when this rocky heart of mine is transformed into a more fertile one, and then worked again and again by the Lord, I may share the love and mercy I have received with others.

I recommend reading the post by Mallett. It reminds us why there is such a great need to live out our faith. It also suggests that the increase in blasphemies in the mainstream media may stem from the inaction and lack of charity of many believers like myself. Lacking charity in action, our hearts harden and become rocky. Christ, whose whole life was the greatest act of charity, bore the stripes of that great love in his body, like it had been tilled all over.

Schneewalzer

Here's a little light music to cheer us up from all this snow...

Enjoy!

A Midsummer Night's Dream - and a Midautumn Night's one too

I'm not really one who discusses dreams a lot but recently and not-so-recently I had very vivid dreams that I can still remember quite clearly. The first, which I had over four or five months ago when I was still in Heidelberg, involved attendance at a TLM. The priest was wearing a golden chasuble and the church was rather white. It very much reminded me of this video and of the St Anna church in Heidelberg, where the TLM was offered twice a month. It was at the offertory part of the mass when suddenly someone burst into the church and started shooting, killing the priest and others. It was so frightening and shocking that I remember waking up.

The second dream occurred back at home, around the end of September or the beginning of October. I was back at my home parish and I was extremely anxious in the dream. At the time I had been pondering and worrying over the issue of reverence for the Blessed Sacrament and receiving communion on the hand. Somehow, in the dream I had zoom vision and could see fragments of the host dropping to the floor all the time. It was extremely distressing, and all the more so due to the fact that no one seemed to care. After mass, I remember going up to the area where the priest stood distributing communion and started carefully picking up the fragments, wondering what to do. Having collected what I could, I remember placing them on the altar as there was nowhere else to put them and starting to shout at people. At this point the dream got ridiculous and it's harder to remember what happened afterwards. This dream also reminded me of a video I had watched on youtube. It shows how tiny fragments of hosts break off so easily when the host is placed in the hand and when hosts are shifted about. I am also reminded of a time when a priest was "decanting" the hosts from one ciborium to another and some hosts fell on the floor. I felt as though I'd been stabbed in the chest when I saw this. How could people, a priest of all people, be so careless! It is moments like this that make me completely 100% convinced that only practice should be communion strictly on the tongue, no exceptions.

I have no idea what these dreams really mean, if they mean anything. Both were memorable because they were disturbing, but for different reasons. The second related to a reality that I had witnessed myself, but the first related to something that happens elsewhere in the world, such as the tragic incident in Baghdad, and possibly to something that may happen to us in the future. Nevertheless, both are important issues for us.

On the lion and the viper He will tread

The sly serpent has been lurking again, trying (and often succeeding) to ensnare me. The fact that this particular one will doggedly follow me until the end of my days is a tough fact to deal with and often it gets me down. Luckily, I have noticed that when I am dragged down, I find myself looking up and seeing Christ there, standing confidently and lovingly, extending his hand to pull me up again. Yet often as soon as I'm up, I forget about him and wander off again to proceed to fall into another ten-foot deep pit. The falls are sore and all I can hope is that I learn from these experiences.
As I said, often the hardest part is knowing that the wicked serpent will be following me all the time, convincing me to take this route and that route, all of which are ultimately roads to perdition. The task I need to learn is to recognise the path Christ shows and follow this path, so that I don't fall down all the pits. Yet the serpent is often so blooming beguiling.
There is a question on this matter that I have wondered about for a while now: do I describe the serpent to others or not? Would it serve any purpose or help me in my wayfaring through life?

Anyway, sorry for the glum post. The antidote is given tomorrow anyway - "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, Rejoice! The Lord is near." These words are important and remind me that even when I do fall into pits or go on the wrong path, the Lord is near to help bring me back.

Solemnity, Birthday, Anniversary and Living With Granny

Today is quite a loaded day for me. First of all, it's my sister's birthday. This is something I've always been aware of. Afterwards, I also became aware of the fact that today is also the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of our dear Mother Mary, one of my favourite feasts of the year. In all honesty, I don't think I could really say why it is one of my favourites but it is. I think it may be to do with the fact that it celebrates something huge - the dawn of the era of grace - and yet at the same time it was such a silent, hidden, gentle and loving act of God. There were no rays of light, no fiery pillars, nothing. Rather like how God was not in the hurricane, nor in the earthquake nor in the fire but in the still small voice, a light murmuring sound when appearing to Elijah. At Mary's conception in her mother's womb, she was gently and lovingly prepared to be the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Today is also the anniversary of a relative's death, which had been very sudden. This relative also happened to be my sister's godfather, which is something I find makes the whole affair more sorrowful. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace.
On a lighter note, my gran is over to stay for a while due to the continuing horrendous weather. Oh, how I hate snow! Great when you're young but rubbish when you want things done. Anyway, my gran sees her stay as an enormous burden on us all when actually we love it. I can't help but wonder whether this self-deprecation and self-designation as a burden to all by many of our elderly is something that seeps in through society. Our elderly need to realise that they are appreciated and loved not for whether they can do stuff for us, either at home or even to society. They are loved and appreciated for themselves, and we thank them for the work they have already done in their lives. Goodness knows how I hope that I'm treated with respect by the time I'm elderly. Although the Assisted Suicide Bill put forward by Margo Macdonald was scrapped this time, but there's plenty more time for more bills to be put forward before I get to retiring age!

Writing Style

Over the past few weeks, the number of essays and things I've had to write have increased. As a result, I've recently become more and more aware of my writing style. And I hate it. I read other blogs such as Shameless Popery and Seraphic Goes To Scotland, which both have crystal-clear writing styles, and then read my own and think "oh dear, what on earth have you written dear boy?" At first, I couldn't figure out why it was unsatisfactory. After further consideration, I realised what the problem was - I write like a German! My sentences are overly long and rambling with lots of "nested" parts. So now I can work out how to correct it. Any tips are welcome.

That Scotland yet again may love the faith, entire and true

Happy feast of Saint Andrew, albeit a belated greeting, like Seraphic's. Not much to say (as usual) but found the following hymn interesting. It was sung as the final hymn at the Mass for the Solemnity of Saint Andrew at the cathedral yesterday. I shook hands with the Cardinal as Nun-on-the-run, a cousin of my mum and someone I bump into regularly at extra-dominical cathedral events, introduced me. He scrutinised me and I just knew he knew that I was that letter writer from last year. Mortifying! Anyway, back to that hymn:

When Christ our Lord to Andrew cried:
'Come, thou, and follow me,'
The fisher left his net beside
the Sea of Galilee.
To teach the truth his Master taught,
To tread the path he trod
Was all his will, and thus he brought
Unnumbered souls to God.

When Andrew's hour had come, and he
Was doomed like Christ to die,
He kissed his cross exultingly.
And this his loving cry:
'O noble Cross! O precious wood!
I long have yearned for thee;
Uplift me to my only good
Who died on thee for me.'

The faith that Andrew taught once shone
O'er all this kingdom fair;
The cross that Jesus died upon
Was honoured everywhere.
But evil men that faith beat down,
Reviling Andrew's name;
The cross, though set in kingly crown,
Became a sign of shame.

Saint Andrew, now in bliss above,
Thy fervent prayers renew
That Scotland yet again may love
The faith, entire and true;
That I the cross allotted me
May bear with patient love!
'Twill lift me, as it lifted thee,
To reign with Christ above.

Here is a version on Youtube.
Note that this was also a hymn sung at the Mass at Bellahouston. I wonder what is referred to by "evil men that faith beat down, /Reviling Andrew's name;"? At first I thought this referred to the Reformation but then the line that follows puzzled me "The cross, though set in kingly crown, /Became a sign of shame." This makes me think of the more secular attacks on the faith. Perhaps both could be implied and in any case, we should be praying for a restoration of the Catholic faith to Scotland, which has indeed been helped by the immigration of the Polish folk. There are many on my course at uni and I'm glad to have people there who share my faith.

Saint Andrew, pray for us!
Saint Margaret, pray for us!

Dani Garavelli on the "Condom Conundrum"

Dani Garavelli, a journalist at the Scotsman's Sunday paper - the Scotland on Sunday - wrote a piece today on the whole debacle about one of the Pope's responses in the book-interview Light of the World. Garavelli often comments on Catholic affairs because she herself is Catholic. One only needs to read one article to realise that she is of the liberal persuasion but nevertheless she is honest. Here is an example:

THE way the world has reacted to Pope Benedict XVI's "reassessment" of his position on condoms last week you would be forgiven for thinking he'd whole-heartedly embraced them and was now personally dispensing them from his Popemobile. The truth is far more prosaic and predictable. [...] Not only did the Pope confine his qualified acceptance of condom use to those involved in the sex trade, he seemed to be motivated not by a desire to protect those at risk, but by the hope that the act of putting one on might signal the start of a journey that would eventually lead to a more chaste lifestyle.

I am glad that she has written this even though she's on the other side of the fence, so to speak. It's important for people to realise that what they think has been said is in fact not what has been said. It's always good when the people who disagree with you understand what you are saying. 

So far, I've avoided mentioning the whole affair as I thought it more prudent to wait and see what would happen. I must say that, like many others, I have been disappointed with the official response to the misunderstanding being proclaimed in the mainstream media. The most difficult things to read were quotes from aid agencies who clearly were looking to misread what the Pope was saying and so use it as justification for the distribution of condoms. Those without access to unbiased media would have very little on which to base any counterargument. For this reason, I hoped for a greater response from Church officials on this. On other less important issues, their response is often more than adequate. Sadly, this time it wasn't the case.

V. Oremus pro Pontifice nostro Benedicto.
R. Dominus conservet eum, et vivificet eum, et beatum faciat eum in terra, et non tradat eum in animam inimicorum eius.
Pater noster. Ave Maria.
Deus, omnium fidelium pastor et rector, famulum tuum Benedictum, quem pastorem Ecclesiae tuae praeesse voluisti, propitius respice: da ei, quaesumus, verbo et exemplo, quibus praeest, proficere: ut ad vitam, una cum grege sibi credito, perveniat sempiternam. Per Christum, Dominum nostrum. Amen.

Papal Encyclical Quas Primas

QUAS PRIMAS
ENCYCLICAL OF POPE PIUS XI
ON THE FEAST OF CHRIST THE KING
TO OUR VENERABLE BRETHREN THE PATRIARCHS, PRIMATES,
ARCHBISHOPS, BISHOPS, AND OTHER ORDINARIES
IN PEACE AND COMMUNION WITH THE APOSTOLIC SEE.

Venerable Brethren, Greeting and the Apostolic Benediction.

In the first Encyclical Letter which We addressed at the beginning of Our Pontificate to the Bishops of the universal Church, We referred to the chief causes of the difficulties under which mankind was laboring. And We remember saying that these manifold evils in the world were due to the fact that the majority of men had thrust Jesus Christ and his holy law out of their lives; that these had no place either in private affairs or in politics: and we said further, that as long as individuals and states refused to submit to the rule of our Savior, there would be no really hopeful prospect of a lasting peace among nations. Men must look for the peace of Christ in the Kingdom of Christ; and that We promised to do as far as lay in Our power. In the Kingdom of Christ, that is, it seemed to Us that peace could not be more effectually restored nor fixed upon a firmer basis than through the restoration of the Empire of Our Lord. We were led in the meantime to indulge the hope of a brighter future at the sight of a more widespread and keener interest evinced in Christ and his Church, the one Source of Salvation, a sign that men who had formerly spurned the rule of our Redeemer and had exiled themselves from his kingdom were preparing, and even hastening, to return to the duty of obedience.

Review of Sung Mass for the Feast of Saint Margaret

God is very clearly answering my prayers. Recently, I have been longing to hear an Ordinary Form Mass chanted. Indeed, ever since I heard these recordings I have wanted to assist at a Mass chanted by the priest. This longing was fulfilled last night when I went to the Mass for the Feast of Saint Margaret. The choir was as usual excellent. The Saint Margaret Schola are very good and they regularly sing EF vespers at the cathedral. Just last week they sang the vespers from the office of the dead. The priest, whom I had never seen before, had a good singing voice as well (mercifully - I imagine it could be quite painful to have a priest sing the whole mass terribly). Wondering who this priest was (and thinking how lucky his parishioners are), I did a quick investigation last night but to no avail. Nevertheless, I found out this evening who he was as I attended a talk concerning Sacred Music given by him. Fr Gerry Byrne is very much for gregorian chant (hurrah!) and he told everyone there plain and simple what is allowed and what is not allowed (which seemed to upset quite a few - for me hearing this was music to my ears (pun intended!). Anyway, God seems to really be showing me that there are a good number of good priests out there (I'd started wondering...) and that they are starting to really take the lead in steering the faithful back towards proper liturgical practices and back to a proper teaching of the Catholic faith rather than watered downs stuff. Deo gratias!

Happy Feast of Saint Margaret of Scotland!

Today is the feast of Saint Margaret of Scotland. Outside Scotland, it is just an optional memoria but since she is the secondary Patron of Scotland, (behind Saint Andrew, who is Patron), the day has been elevated to a feast for Scottish Catholics. I have a particular affinity to Saint Margaret as my parish is dedicated to her, and it has a beautiful rose window above the altar. My primary school was also called Saint Margaret's, and they even had made up their own song for her. Here is a description of her from Catholic Culture:

She was born in Hungary (1046), where her father was living in exile, and likewise spent her childhood there as an unusually devout and pious girl. In the course of time she went to England, when her father was called to high office in his fatherland by his uncle, King St. Edward III. Fortune, however, soon reversed itself again (Margaret's father died suddenly in 1057), and upon leaving England a mighty storm — or better, divine Providence — brought her to the shores of Scotland. Upon instructions from her mother, Margaret married Malcolm III, king of Scotland, in 1069. The country was blessed by her holy life and by her deeds of charity for the next thirty years. Her eight children she zealously trained in the practice of Christian virtues.
In the midst of royal splendour Margaret chastised her flesh by mortification and vigils and passed the greater part of the night in devout prayer. Her most remarkable virtue was love of neighbour, particularly love toward the poor. Her alms supported countless unfortunates; daily she provided food for three hundred and shared in the work of serving them personally, washing their feet and kissing their wounds.

If you visit Edinburgh Castle, the oldest part of the castle is the Saint Margaret Chapel, build by her fourth son King David (Saint David of Scotland) in the 12th century. Nearby at the other end of the Royal Mile and then across towards Arthur Seat (so not far from the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which Saint David also built) is the St Margaret's Well (though this is only a connection in name). After attending Saint Margaret's Primary I then moved on to Saint David's High School, dedicated to her son who also built Newbattle Abbey, in which the old Saint David's High building was situated. Therefore, I feel quite well acquainted with Saint Margaret and her son Saint David!

Tonight, for the Feast of Saint Margaret, I am going to a Sung Mass at the cathedral in Edinburgh. It is being chanted by the Edinburgh Schola whose Patroness is Saint Margaret. I've never been to a mass in the Ordinary Form which has been chanted. It will be an interesting experience, I'm sure.

Saint Margaret, Patroness of Scotland, pray for us!
Saint David, pray for us!
Saint Andrew, pray for us!

Reminiscing of the days in Nantes

Today I watched a video that featured on the website of the FSSP parish in Nantes, which is by far the best parish I have EVER been to. Here is the video, which looks back over the past year at the parish. Almost all of the events featured took place after I left, but what you can gather from the video is that it is a truly "living" parish, dedicated to forming young peoples lives so that they are well-rounded and properly equipped to deal with the vicissitudes of life, if you pardon the cliché, and also to preach the gospel by their way of living. It is entirely contrary to the popular yet gravely dishonest caricature of being sour and grumpy folk that traditionalists are often portrayed as. No, theirs is a parish where one cannot help but notice the love of Christ acted out in its members' devotion. The two priests were also excellent confessors and I can say that my time there was the most spiritually consoling and helpful time in my life. Oh how I miss it!

Anniversary of Baptism

Like last year, I would once again like to thank God for giving me life through baptism, and I ask him to help me by his grace to live up to my baptismal promises.

Sighting of "Benedictine" altar arrangement in Edinburgh!

At the moment I am not residing at my own house but rather elsewhere in Edinburgh, in a place very very close to a church, St Margaret Mary's. This morning I went to this church for mass and last night I went to the associated parish, Holy Cross, for confession. In both churches I noticed that there was a crucifix on the altar placed so that it was facing the priest. In Holy Cross I think it also had six candles on the altar and in at St Margaret Mary's there were six (lit!) large candles behind the altar, three on either side of the tabernacle. I mention the fact that they were lit because at my own parish there are also six candles beside the tabernacle behind the altar but they are rarely lit. I realised that this was what is often known as the "Benedictine arrangement", so called because it is favoured/required by Pope Benedict at the masses he celebrates. Indeed there was a little contention about the fact that the candles were not placed on the altar at the mass but rather beside the altar on the floor (which did look a bit silly, tbh) at Bellahouston. On further consideration, St Margaret Mary's is just ripe and ready in terms of its architecture and layout of sanctuary for the extraordinary form. It has three steps to the altar, an altar rail and the room for it. Furthermore, the altar on the steps is actually the altar used, meaning there's no stupid secondary altar right in front of it. The only misgiving about it is that it is made from wood. Both churches are similar, and both have a huge message spanning an archway over the sanctuary. At Holy Cross it says "+ Ave Crux Spes Unica +" - "Hail to the Cross, our only hope" and at St Margaret Mary's it says "+ Magister Adest et Vocat Te +" - "The Master is here and He is calling you".

Anyway, many see this Benedictine arrangement as a sort of middle stage towards returning to worship ad orientem - the worship direction of the ages. Let us pray for our priests that they may keep to the holy traditions of Mother Church.

St Margaret Mary, pray for us!

Prayer to the Sacred Heart for Priests

Remember, O most loving Heart of Jesus, that they for whom I pray are those for whom You prayed so earnestly the night before Your death.  These are they to whom You look to continue with You in Your sorrows when others forsake You, who share Your griefs and have inherited your persecutions, according to Your word: That the servant is not greater than his Lord.  Remember, O Heart of Jesus, that they are the objects of the world's hatred and Satan's deadliest snares.  Keep them then, O Jesus, in the safe citadel of Your Sacred Heart and there let them be sanctified in truth.  May they be one with you and one among themselves, and grant that multitudes may be brought through their word to believe in You and love You.

Sad video :-(

Just today I happened to come across a video of a priest's ordination at my parish church. The ordination took place twenty years ago this year. This means that I was less than one year old, and also living doon sooth at the time, but I do remember much of the layout as the church was then. The tabernacle was in the corner of the sanctuary, as I remember it was when I first started serving on the altar when I was about seven or eight. I remember the large cross behind the altar which has now been moved to upstairs, to the Venerable Margaret Sinclair Chapel as it is now known as. Back then it was just the choir loft. And this takes me nicely to the next point. The music. All which is moderately terrible was played at this mass and was accompanied with guitar, flute and tambourine. Now, these things I can cope with, but what really dismayed me was at the canon - first of all, the celebrant bishop asked all to stand during the eucharistic prayer. Why? Why? Everyone had already knelt during the litany, so why couldn't they kneel at the moment of sacrifice? I don't know...
Secondly, the vessels used were not "of a noble material" and gilt on the interior. They were just ceramic bowls. This causes me to make a big sad face :-( and makes my heart sink. It also explains a few things about a certain letter I sent just over a year ago...

Now all this makes me realise how different things are already. Much of this is due to the most recent parish priest, who retired in June this year after ten years at the parish, so he is very much the priest I remember. Unfortunately, for many his personality was too much and they left to other parishes. Despite this, the changes he made were generally good. He moved the tabernacle from the corner to behind the altar. He moved the Saint Margaret statue from a corner of the porch to inside the body of the church and made it stand out a bit more. He made the sanctuary more noble looking, though he wished he had made more changes (i.e. rip out what remained of the 1970s wreckovations). He also converted the choir loft into the chapel I mentioned above and installed two more stained glass windows there. Most recently he placed a large vessel with holy water in it for people to take some home for them. Unfortunately, many people had left already before these changes were made and so they never got the benefit of them.

Lastly, the ordination video made me think again about the question of vocation. Now, I know I will not be a priest and the reasons are numerous. One of the main ones is that I am far too proud a person and I'm a gloryseeker - not exactly good qualities. Yet, I still have "dreams" or "fantasies" about being one and this video made me think about this further. If God had made things slightly different for me, perhaps I would have become a priest. But it doesn't do to dwell in the realm of fantasy and of ifs and maybes. So I just thank God for what He has called me to do and I just trust in His plans.

One last word about the video - what was abundantly clear was that if a person living only seventy years ago were to watch this video then, they wouldn't recognise a thing...

Marshmallow liturgy

While doing some browsing I came across a website called "The Center for Progressive Christianity". On this website there was a section on liturgy and asked people to write in and submit possible liturgy texts! So far, they have a sample of some of the texts already submitted. Check them out for some light entertainment if you want.

One of my favourite submissions is this:

One: May God the World Maker bless you;
All: Let us delight in sunlight and starlight and surprises of the turning earth.
One: May Jesus the Peace Maker bless you;
Many: Let us celebrate Life as it is found in this community, in all its struggles and joys.
One: May Spirit the Journey Maker bless you;
Many: Let us walk with saints and angels in the wisdom and wildness of Love. Amen.

Notice how the presider is called "One". Another suggestion, presumably "equivalent" to "May almighty God have mercy on us..." after the confiteor is:

Leader: The God of all creation welcomes us with open arms,
offering love and hope and faith.
We are forgiven. Amen.

Liturgical dancers hailing mother Gaia, perhaps

I also recommend checking out the communion poem talking of "the life of the agribusiness executive" and "the accountant who does the taxes for the artist who makes the ads" and the pluralism and earthday liturgies further down.

Everybody's Special

I had difficulty in deciding whether to post this here or on the Ulaan Bataar blog instead. Here is a delightful song which I learnt in 2006 on my trip to Lourdes with the archdiocese. The others in the youth group taught me this song. Here it is as it was sung to me:

Ooh Sprachmeister don't you know
that you are very special!
You're so special to us all!
So come if you will
and join our circle.
Everybody's special,
special in God's circle of love.

Then they turned on... I mean turned to my friend Jamie, and sang:

Ooh Jamie don't you know
that you are very special!
You're so special to us all!
So come if you will
and join our circle.
Everybody's special,
special in God's circle of love.

This then went on around all 20 plus members of the youth group, and then some others too. This was as we went on a trip aux Pyrénées.

I'm still trying to work out a way of demonstrating the tune on blogger. So far, and luckily for you, I haven't found any.

Meanwhile, while I was in my final year at school, we had to take the new first years of high school (about 11/12 years old and generally quite obnoxious, though not at the beginning) into groups (my group went to the chaplaincy for this) and do activities with them. I suggested, as a way of learning their names, we sang that song in turn to each of them, letting them know too that they were ALL special. Surprisingly, the others rejected this idea.

Saint Jerome...

...patron saint of translators, pray for us!

Thanking God for the crosses He gives us

As mentioned in previous posts, God has given me a cross which is permanent (unless God sees fit to relieve me of it) and somewhat arduous. Almost everytime I am feeling low, the fact that I bear this cross occurs to me and I always end up asking God the same questions and making the same requests: "God, why did you give me this? Why is it so? Could you please relieve me of it if it is your will?", etc. I had a hard time accepting the facts as they stood. It is here to stay and to be borne by me.
My most recent incident where I was left feeling very low (though on reflection this was an overreaction and probably just due to tiredness) was similar. However, there was one crucial and quite substantial difference. At my lowest point in this dip, I happened to glance at the crucifix on my wall and immediately my mind turned to Calvary, and in particular to the experiences of our most blessed mother as she stood by her son's cross. This wasn't surprising as I have been reflecting a lot on Our Lady of Sorrows this month. At that moment of my own sorrow and sadness, I would normally proceed to ask God why, etc. This time, however, while thinking of the great sufferings of the Lord Jesus and the compassion of Mary, I was filled with enormous gratitude and the only thought that went through my mind was "Thank you God - thank you for letting me share in His suffering and hers. And though I still felt profoundly sad, in my heart I felt overwhelmingly thankful and happy. Not a superficial happiness of ice-cream smiles and buttondrop dimples but of an extreme contentment within my soul. Not one to usually go into such personal things (I've acquired a knee-jerk cynicism to or discomfort of occasions when people express their thoughts and emotions, even when they're often genuine), I couldn't help but be struck by this. For me, I felt that it was an answer to my prayers - yes, I will have to carry it, but even in my deepest sorrow I can recognise and love God, and thank Him too.

Carrying one's cross and following Jesus

For a couple of years now I have been consciously struggling with a very arduous cross that Jesus has awarded me and yes, I fail fairly often in carrying it by rejecting His grace. After the most recent incident, I reflected on the consequences of flinging the cross down and deciding not to carry it any more. The first effect I noted was that by no longer carrying one's cross, one stands upright. By carrying it, one is effectively doubled over and often falling to one's knees. Metaphorically, the meaning of this is pretty clear. When we throw down our cross, rejecting God's will for us out of stubbornness, our pride increases. We decide we will no longer put up with being subjugated - we can gain for ourselves our own freedom. The second effect is that we no longer have to follow the path of carrying the cross, the via crucis, but rather we can go in any other direction rather than this stony and difficult road of the cross.
Now, to the outsider, this casting off of the yoke of being a Christian and no longer following the path laid out for us by Jesus as He carried His may seem like a relief - the discovery of freedom instead of the slavery of the cross. However, to the Christian, this is a passing into grave peril. By standing upright, we are no longer careful of where we walk as we are no longer looking at the ground. We may step on all sorts of painful and horrible things. Secondly, we no longer have any destination. Our direction in life is a direction away from something, not towards something. Also, we hear the words of our Saviour when we consider this wide path away from the via crucis; "the road that leads to destruction is wide and spacious, and many take it; but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life" (Mt 7:13b-14). 
After having considered the effects of rejecting one' cross, I then reflected on what it means by accepting one's cross. By carrying it, as stated before, one is bowed down and low. Again, this is metaphorically clear - when we accept the yoke that Jesus gives us, we become more humble. Bearing and accepting to carry one's cross is a humbling experience. After accepting it, we struggle along the rocky path which has only one destination - the garden of the tree of life - Calvary. Like the Lord, we are helped by friends and family along the way, and most importantly, by the Lord, who Himself has gone before us. And His mother, our mother, Mary, is there to comfort us and pray for us along the way as we make our permanent pilgrimage to stand with her at the foot of the cross, giving thanks to our Saviour.

"God wants your friendship"

Due to the inexplicable bank holiday on Monday, I decided to go to Mass before meeting up with some friends from university. Usually on Monday I have a class which coincides with the Mass times of both the Cathedral in Edinburgh and St Patrick's (where the Shrine of the Venerable Margaret Sinclair is situated). On Monday I went to the latter church.

It was the feast of Saints Andrew Kim Taegon, Paul Chong Hasang and companions, the Korean martyrs and so the priest was vested in a magnificent yet classic Gothic vestment (ken, the one with the sort of Y-shaped cross on it). Anyway, this is all beside the point. For the homily, the priest mentioned the Pope's visit and in particular mentioned what the Pope had said in his address to young Catholics at Twickenham. What struck the priest was the Pope's extremely simple message "God wants your friendship". The priest went on to say what you usually do with a true friend - you tell him things, you talk to him a lot - both about serious matters but also about nonsense, you do things for him to demonstrate your love for him. The most perfect of friendships should therefore be our friendship with God, who said to his apostles "I call you friends because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father" (Jn 15:15). Previously the Lord also says "A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends" (Jn:15:13). Thus those martyrs in Korea proved that they were friends of God by laying down their life for him.

Bellahouston Mass and the ongoing Papal Visit

Well, the Mass yesterday was wonderful and totally worth the long wait. It was a very long day but I loved every moment of it. The Pope's homily was particularly interesting and totally accurate. Since I have poor analytical skills, I'll leave it to the countless others who have commented on blogs. Here is a list of some of them, which I will update over the next few days as well as more speeches are delivered by the Pontiff:

By Father Z at What Does The Prayer Really Say?:
http://wdtprs.com/blog/2010/09/benedict-xvis-state-visit-begins-in-scotland/#comments
There are loads more on WDTPRS but they start from this point in terms of reporting on the actual visit as opposed to the run-up.

By Scottish Catholic Teuchtar:
http://catholicteuchtar.blogspot.com/2010/09/papal-homily-at-bellahouston-park.html
http://catholicteuchtar.blogspot.com/2010/09/papal-mass-youngster.html
http://catholicteuchtar.blogspot.com/2010/09/scotland-does-pope-proud.html
http://catholicteuchtar.blogspot.com/2010/09/hear-him-read-him-love-him.html

By Seraphic Spouse:
http://seraphicgoestoscotland.blogspot.com/2010/09/live-from-bellahouston-park.html
http://seraphicgoestoscotland.blogspot.com/2010/09/home-from-glasgow-achoo.html
http://seraphicgoestoscotland.blogspot.com/2010/09/bellahouston-mass-report-official.html

At Whispers In the Loggia

By Joe Heschmeyer at Shameless Popery:
http://catholicdefense.blogspot.com/2010/09/police-thwart-possible-terrorist-attack.html

At the cross her station keeping....

Stabat mater dolorosa
juxta Crucem lacrimosa,
dum pendebat Filius.
Cuius animam gementem,
contristatam et dolentem
pertransivit gladius.

O quam tristis et afflicta
fuit illa benedicta,
mater Unigeniti!
Quae moerebat et dolebat,
pia Mater, dum videbat
nati poenas inclyti.

Quis est homo qui non fleret,
matrem Christi si videret
in tanto supplicio?
Quis non posset contristari
Christi Matrem contemplari
dolentem cum Filio?

Pro peccatis suae gentis
vidit Iesum in tormentis,
et flagellis subditum.
Vidit suum dulcem Natum
moriendo desolatum,
dum emisit spiritum.

Burning, draining and ending.

A friend of mine, incidentally one I've mentioned before, has three categories of disliking someone or something. They are:

Burning - when anger is the dominating emotion.
Draining - when disappointment or boredom are the dominating emotions.
Ending - either a combinating of burning and draining, or the loss of the will to live.

An example of this would be "Tatchell's documentary drained me" because every argument has been heard a zillion times before and you felt excitement every time someone espousing and supporting Catholic doctrines spoke (which were rare occasions and yet rarer). See Damian Thompson's review of the documentary.

Yawn... it must be getting late...

... either that or fact that Peter Tatchell's The Trouble With The Pope was as expected.

The Mass at Bellahouston (part two)

Today I will continue on with the description of the Mass which is to take place at Bellahouston Park in Glasgow next Thursday. I will admit that it is mainly a description of the music with a little bit about the liturgical texts to be used:


The Offertory to the Preface
During the Offertory and the Preparation of the Gifts, "Celtic Invocation" will be sung, which looks like a rendition of St. Patrick's Breastplate. Then the Preface and its introduction will be sung in Latin to the usual chant. Having a quick glance at the Latin and its accompanying English translation to the left of it (which then is oddly and confusingly to the right on the following page, meaning the Latin is always found nearer the middle of the page and the English to the edges), there is a slight omission, namely "through Jesus Christ our Lord".

The Mass at Bellahouston (part one)

Given that I've managed to wangle my way to Bellahouston due to having a relative with friends in high places (she's best friends with a Vicar General), I think it is meet to "hae a wee shufty" at how it will pan out. My relative handed my brother and me two golden booklets by Magnificat outlining everything about the Papal Visit. At first I felt privileged at having this golden piece of treasure that no one else seemed to have until they were handing them out willy-nilly to everyone after Mass last Sunday. That sure burst my bubble about being privy and in possession of such arrangements. Anyway, I digress. Here is a quick outline of the Mass at Bellahouston, from the "Gathering" to the Prayer of the Faithful (the rest will be up another time, as it's late):

Gathering In
Starting like a football match, the "Gathering In Prayer - Hymns" section (a misnomer since we won't be gathering but rather will have already been there for about two hours) are How Lovely on the Mountains with the delightful refrain "Our God Reigns" to rival any chanting coming from the nearby Ibrox football stadium (Glasgow Rangers, for those not cognizant thereof) followed by Hail Redeemer (the chorus ends with a belting of "King of love on Calvary"). After this, the Choir sings "My Dearest Lord: Prayer of St Columba". Then we're all back in with "When Christ our Lord" with the choir coming in afterwards again with "To Christ the Seed" (here's the tune).
I must admit at this point that I don't know any of the previous three hymns so I cannot comment on whether they are good or bad. All I know is that the first one is a Kevin Mayhew one so you can draw your own conclusions from that fact.
Then it comes back to us again with that old favourite of the strumming guitar group at Masses at my school - "City of God". I remember disliking this one even when I was eleven or twelve (at time when staples such as "Colours of Day" "I the Lord of sea and sky" and the one above, "Our God Reigns" were perfectly fine for me). There's something about "tears be turned into dancing" accompanied with the tune which just sounds ridiculous. Following this there is then "Ninian of Galloway" to remember that it is the Feast of St Ninian when this Mass takes place.

The Scotsman on the Papal Visit (Parts 2 & 3)

Unfortunately, yesterday and on Tuesday I had no time to write anything about the second and third parts of The Scotsman's little series on the Papal visit by Stephen McGinty. So here they are now, but together.

The second part on Tuesday focused on the "key issues of concern" for the Pope. It starts with a summary of various issues which the Pope has dealt with in some way, particularly those which caused headlines such as the Regensburg speech, the comment on condoms contributing to the AIDS crisis and the lifting of the excommunications of the four SSPX bishops. And of course the child sex abuse crisis was mentioned. However, the tone of the article is not too condemnatory, stating that Benedict is trying to prepare the Church for the Dark Age of Secularism and also noting a description of the Holy Father's reaction when listening to abuse cases as Prefect of CDF, saying "the physical disgust you could see on Ratzinger's face". It continues on with various people describing the Pope's gentleness and contrasting it with the media's initial description as "God's rottweiler" and "panzer cardinal". It also mentions his membership in the Hitler youth but also saying that his father was an anti-Nazi and that attendance at the HY was compulsory. Finally, the article continues with various anecdotes such as meeting Pele and not knowing who he was and then what the Pope may talk about. The media seem concerned a lot with whether a "controversial statement" (read "reiteration of Catholic doctrine") but John L Allen, his biographer and writer for the National Catholic Reporter, imagines that issues such as homosexuality and life issues may come up but it won't be his main point.
So all in all, for any Catholic who knows anything about the Pope, all of this is nothing new under the sun but I suppose it is quite useful for those who don't. Overall, the article was quite a fair one without too much bias. The only other thing on the page is to conform with The Scotsman's standards of parochiality, boasting of the fact that Monsignor Leo Cushley, a priest from the Diocese of Motherwell, is the head of the English Language desk at the Secretariat of State, meaning he is responsible "for the Church's relations with the English speaking world, a massive territory that includes North America, Australia, Britain and territories in the Far East".Oooh, well there you go!

The third and final part of the series centred on the future of the Church, particularly in Scotland. It featured interviews with three Bishops - Bishop Devine of Motherwell, Bishop Tartaglia of Paisley and Cardinal O'Brien of St Andrew's and Edinburgh. Each one basically discussed the challenges ahead and the need to stick to the teachings of the Church even if comes to the point that preaching them is "illegal" because of hate speech laws. The Cardinal says that he would like Catholics to be able to fight their corner, even if small in number and he quotes Paul, calling Catholics to "preach in season and out of season". I liked this article because there was actually very little commentary and it was mainly a platform for the most senior representatives of the Church in Scotland to voice their views and hopes. Nevertheless, the article states that while at one point the Scottish College of Bishops was once one of the youngest in the world, it is now one of the oldest, meaning that these senior representatives are senior in more ways than one. This was also made evident at the Mass I went to yesterday for the Silver Jubilee of Cardinal O'Brien's episcopal ordination. It was a reasonably grand affair and I got to shake his hand at the end and even pose in a photograph (though I did protest a little). Never mind - at least he didn't find out my full name and realise I was the one whom he told off about a letter I sent about a year ago...

The Scotsman on the Papal Visit (Part 1)

From today till Wednesday, the Scotsman will be providing us lucky readers to some information and background to the Papal Visit. Today, in the first of the three parts, a comparison is drawn between the Scotland of 1982 when Pope John Paul II visited and the Scotland of today. A whole range of figures and diagrams showing various statistics are shown demonstrating that pretty much across the board every figure has fallen (except, perhaps notably, but I'm not going to comment on it, the average weekly donation in the Diocese of Paisley, which was taken as an indicator of the situation in the whole of Scotland). Alongside this, in tiny writing in the bottom corner, there are also figures from the Church of Scotland, for further comparison (because comparing is what we love to do, and it's easier for journalists to fill a page without saying much). In addition to this, we are told that membership of the Humanist Society of Scotland has risen 700 per cent.

Speaking of not saying much, it's not like we didn't know all this anyway, as it is rammed down our throats with relish at every opportunity. But then, to back this up, there are stories about Clare, a biology teacher who decided that the inability of a priest to explain something to her was one of the reasons why she stopped believing and John, a former priest who couldn't reconcile celibacy with his desire to marry and then felt abandoned by the Church. Finally, to warm the cockles of our hearts, we hear of Rachel, a yoof (relatively speaking - she is a little older than me, but the other two above are in their 50s and 60s) who was rather out of control in her teens. She had the enlightening experience of attending a World Youth Day, hoping to simply get a cheap holiday out of it, but this, couple with what I suspect was the real turning point for her, sitting in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, led to her conversion to the Lord. Excuse the cynical outlook, but for once I am impressed with the Scotsman for actually finding someone, and not only that but someone young, to show that the Faith is still alive in Scotland.

Let's see what's in store for us tomorrow... I can't wait.

Death and life in a matter of hours

Talking to one of my best friends today, it turns out his gran died last night. I knew both this grandmother and his other grandmother as his is a tight-knit family and their grandparents were always dropping in. Now both are dead, and both were not that old.
The death of the first grandmother hit my friend's oldest sister (he has three sisters, all younger) and it shook her faith. Nevertheless, I think she has come to terms with it and she still goes to church. I'm unaware as to how the death of the other grandmother has affected her. This remains to be seen but I'll probably find out tomorrow.
Although I did not know either of them particularly well, I knew them enough to notice their absence whenever I went to my friend's house. They were there THAT often. I've also not had to deal with death too often in my life. My paternal grandad died in 2000, an uncle died in 2001 and an aunt died in 2002. I would say that all of these deaths took place at a time when I was pretty much able to cope with them. I also think the fact that I didn't know any of them extremely well made it easier, unlike my friend, whose grandmothers would drop in almost every day of the week.
The phonecall with my friend was one where both condolences and congratulations were expressed, as I announced to him the birth of my second nephew last night. Both my sister and the baby are well and I'd like to ask for your prayers for them both and prayers for my friend's grandmothers.

My brother's experience of the Extraordinary Form

Today my brother and I went to the local FSSP church in Edinburgh for the Feast of the Assumption. After sitting on a bus for over an hour and doing that awkward walk which you do when you think you are late but don't want to run, we arrived at the church, walking in hurriedly and then suddenly having two booklets and two sheets handed to us.
We walked across and remained in the very back corner throughout Mass and I pointed out where we were every now and then to my brother. For me, the Mass was like a usual EF Mass, more akin to the one I went to in Germany than the one in France (the one in France was much larger, was packed and had a little more solemnity to it - more of a Cathedral feel to it). It was similar to Germany in another aspect - in Germany a non-Christian friend of mine who was interested had been coming along to church with me, both to the OF and the EF when it was on. As I knew she had no background of Christianity whatsoever, I found myself anxious in case she was totally lost and clueless to what was going on. Well, this anxiety returned a little today.
My brother seemed aloof to a lot of what was going on although when quizzed afterwards it turned out he had taken much more in than I'd thought. I then asked him what he liked and disliked.
First of all, what he wasn't so keen on:

• sometimes the chant went on for a little too long - he was thinking particularly of the "alleluiaaaaaaaaaaaa"
• he missed a hymn sometimes
• not seeing what the priest was doing (though he blames this on our position at the very back behind a pillar)
• he lost his place a lot and found it hard to follow
• the Gospel being sung
• the annoying moth (ok, this was nothing to do with the actual Mass, I know)

And secondly, what he liked:

• everyone was appropriately dressed
• nobody talking
• appropriate reverence
• lack of hand-shaking
• trained altar servers
• the organ
• no requirement to sing

I can fully understand most of his dislikes. I too found it hard to follow the Mass at the beginning, especially flicking between various books. Some other things you get used to, such as the chanting lasting a while and you then learn to take advantage of this and giving yourself time to dispose yourself properly to the situation.
Anyway, overall he seemed quite positive though he's not desperate to go back. Plus, we've got our local parish to keep alive anyway.

Mass for the Assumption in the Extraordinary Form

This Sunday, I plan to go to the local FSSP church in Edinburgh for the Assumption. I also plan on taking my brother along and it will be his first time assisting at a TLM. I'll post an update afterwards commenting on how my brother found the Mass.

Erasmus over

Well, that's it. I'm now back in my little village near Edinburgh and my year abroad is now over. As with a lot of things, my mind has instantly erased all memories of ever having been abroad and I have to struggle to remember people's faces and what they were like. It is awful. I really miss some of my friends over there, but at the same time I'm glad to have this sort of "fresh start" back in normality. I now have an excuse to be different - to act more Catholic - because of being away. It should be great, but also difficult.

So now I'm a Catholic Scot reporting from Scotland...

Prayer meme

I've noticed this prayer meme travelling through the blogs I read and unbelievably it has reached my blog through Scottish Catholic Teuchtar and his great blog with its Scottish focus, something which obviously interests me greatly.
Anyway, my three favourite prayers are:

1. The Angelus. I try to say this everyday at noon and at 6 o'clock. Often I recite it and then just get on with my day, but very frequently the simple recitation of Bible verses recalling the Incarnation just overwhelm me. See my previous post on it.

2. The De Profundis. The psalm occurs each Wednesday for Compline in the Divine Office, and I look forward to it. (Indeed this week I was heartily disappointed and annoyed with myself when I recited Tuesday's Compline again instead of Wednesday's). It both reminds us of our sinfulness in the depths of the world, reminds us to always watch for the Lord and then recalls the fact that the Lord redeems.

3. And finally, like Scottish Catholic Teuchtar, the Anima Christi. I was definitely influenced by the fact that my confirmation saint, St Ignatius Loyola, included this prayer before his spiritual exercises.

Unfortunately, I have no one to tag, as everyone I would tag has received it already. Nevertheless, I recommend, along with Scottish Catholic Teuchtar above, Seraphic Spouse.

Comprehensive video on the Blessed Virgin Mary

Are student residences dangerous?

At least, in the spiritual sense?

Surely, some students commit terrible stuff in halls. There may even be students who, seriously or not, dabble in pagan worship or Satan worship. Does this have an effect on our spiritual lives? Are we more likely to come under attack from demons? Are we therefore more likely to lose sanctifying grace through mortal sin? Is it just the atmosphere of more alcohol and hedonism which can prevail in student residences? Or do we just become lazy in our spiritual warfare?

Future of this Blog

As my reader may have noticed, I've not posted anything for over a month now. Even when I get the impulse to write something, I often feel as though it's stupid and not worthwhile posting. So now I'm considering whether to continue with it at all. Furthermore, I'm almost finished with my year abroad, which is half the reason I started it. I'm just all dried up on material and if you want to read an opinion about anything Catholic, you can most definitely read a better one elsewhere. I'm basically not a writer.

On another note, I passed my third year at university, meaning only one more year to go till I've finished my degree. :D

Evening Hymn to the Trinity

Firmly I believe, and truly
God is Three, and God is One;
And I next acknowledge duly
Manhood taken by the Son;

And I trust and hope most fully
In that manhood crucified;
And each thought and deed unruly
Do to death, as He has died.

Simply to His grace and wholly
Light and life and strength belong;
And I love supremely, solely,
Him the holy, Him the strong.

Adoration aye be given,
With and through the angelic host,
To the God of earth and heaven, 
Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Venerable J. H. Card. Newman 

Pro seipso sacerdote

I read this great post by the incomparable Father Z today on the prayers that the priest said for himself on the anniversary of his ordination. The first mentioned are those of the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite. They emphasise the humility of the priest as a servant to all, above all to God, who in His mercy established the priesthood. The post speaks for itself so I'll just post it all here.

In the traditional, Extraordinary Form a priest can add orations for the anniversary of his ordination, Pro seipso sacerdote.

The 2002MR has three formularies Pro seipso sacerdote while the 1962MR has but one.

Since this is a time of year when new priests are being ordained, and many priests are observing their own anniversaries, let’s have a WDTPRS look at the prayers Pro seipso sacerdote from the traditional, Extraordinary Form.

COLLECT (1962MR):
Omnípotens et miséricors Deus,
humilitátis meae preces benígnus inténde:
et me fámulum tuum, quem,
nullis suffragántibus méritis,
sed imménsa cleméntiae tuae largitáte,
caeléstibus mystériis servíre tribuísti,
dignum sacris altáribus fac minístrum;
ut, quod mea voce deprómitur,
tua sanctificatióne firmétur.

SLAVISHLY LITERAL VERSION:
Almighty and merciful God,
kindly hark to the prayers of my humility:
and make me, Your servant, whom,
no merits of my own favoring me,
but by the immense largess of your indulgence,
You granted to serve the heavenly mysteries,
to be a worthy minister at the sacred altars;
so that, that which is called down by my voice,
may be made sure by Your sanctification.

The prayer focuses on priest’s self-awareness of his lowliness and that who he is and what he does is from God’s grace and choice and not his own. 

It also emphasis the relationship of the priest to the altar, that it, the bond of the priest and Holy Mass.  In the older form of Holy Mass, after the consecration during the Canon at the Suppplices te rogamus... the priest bends low over the altar, puts his hands on it… they were annointed, the altar was annointed… kisses the altar, makes the sign of the Cross over the consecrated Host on the corporal, over the Precious Blood in the chalice, over himself.  Christ is Victim.  Christ is Priest.  The priest is victim and priest as well.  This moment during Holy Mass reveals the mysterious bond of altar where the priest sacrifices the victim, the sacrificial victim and the sacrificing priest.  They are one. At the altar he is alter Christus, another Christ, offering and offered.

What also comes to mind as I look at this is the Augustinian reflection of the speaker of the Word and the Word spoken, and the message and reality of the Word and the Voice which speaks it.  The voice of the priest and the priest himself are merely the means God uses in the sacred action, the sacramental mysteries at the altar, to renew in that moment what He has wrought.  Finally, this is done through mercy.  The words misericors, clementia, largitas, benignus all point to the mercy of God.

The priest speaks and God makes what he speaks reality.  He takes the insubstantial words and makes them firm and real.  How important it is for the priest to get himself out of the way when he is at the altar, where the True Actor is in action, Christ the Eternal and High Priest.

SECRET (1962MR):
Huius, Dómine, virtúte sacraménti,
peccatórum meórum máculas abstérge:
et praesta;
ut ad exsequéndum injúncti offícii ministérium,
me tua grátia dignum effíciat.

SLAVISHLY LITERAL VERSION:
O Lord, by the power of this sacrament,
cleanse the stains of my sins:
and grant;
that it may make me worthy by Your grace
unto the performance of the ministry of the office that has been imposed.

Priests are sinner in need of a Savior just like everyone else.  They confess sins and receive absolution like everyone else.  They, to, must do penance for past sins like everyone else.  They come to the altar as sinners.  In the older form of Holy Mass, the texts of the ordinary constantly remind the priest of who he is and who he isn’t.  In this Secret, spoken quietly, the priest prays for what only God can do: remove the stains of sins from his soul.

The prayer brings also to mind the burden of the yoke of the priesthood, symbolized as by the priestly vestment, the chasuble.  As the priest vests he says as he puts on this vestment, "O Lord, Who said: My yoke is easy and My burden light: grant that I may bear it well and follow after You with thanksgiving. Amen."   The yoke is the ancient sign of subjugation.  The ancient Romans caused the conquered to pass under a yoke, iugum. 

POSTCOMMUNION (1962MR):
Omnípotens sempitérne Deus,
qui me peccatórem sacris altáribus astáre voluísti,
et sancti nóminis tui laudáre poténtiam:
concéde propítius, per hujus sacraménti mystérium,
meórum mihi véniam peccatórum;
ut tuae majestáti digne mérear famulári.

SLAVISHLY LITERAL VERSION:
Almighty eternal God,
who desired me, a sinner, to stand at the sacred altars,
and to praise the might of Your Holy Name:
propitiously grant, through the mystery of this sacrament,
the forgiveness of my sins for me;
so that I may merit to wait upon Your majesty.

On the day of ordination the priest lies down upon the floor.

He becomes the lowest thing in the church.

As I read this, I am struck by the two sets of contrasts.

First, there is the contrast of the low state of the servant sinner and the majesty of God.

Second, there is the present moment contrasted with the future to come.

Majestas is like gloria, Hebrew kabod or Greek doxa, a divine characteristic which – some day – we may encounter in heaven in such a way that we will be transformed by it forever and forever.  When Moses encountered God in the cloud on the mountain and in the tent, he came forth with a face shining so brightly that he had to wear a veil.  This is a foreshadowing of the transformative power of God’s majestas.

A priest waits on this majestas.  He awaits it and waits upon it.  He desires it for his own future, but in the present moment he waits upon it as a servent.  He is an attendent, in every sense, one who waits and one who waits.

May God have mercy on priests, sinner servants, attendent on the unmerited grace and gifts of the Victim Priest and Savior.

Consider the mercy of God in His gift of the priesthood during these last days of the year of the priest.

The feast of Corpus Christ this year falls on the first Thursday of June, the last day lay people can gain a plenary indulgence by praying for priests in this Year of the Priest.

The rejection of God's love and its consequence

Now, correct me on this if anything's a bit heterodox.

I was pondering on the suggestion that the existence of hell is contrary to an all-loving God. How is it that God can love us so much but yet let people go to hell? The way I understand it is that it comes down to free will.

Chesterton says in his book Heretics that the theological virtues are by their essence irrational. Faith is the belief of something unbelievable; hope is only a virtue in hopeless situations; and love is only charity when it forgives the unforgivable. In this sense, we offend God so often, yet He has shown how He loves us by what He has done for us, by sending His only Son into the world and then to die so that we might have everlasting life with Him. Even just on Thursday, as we celebrated the Ascension, God loved us by raising our humanity up to the highest heaven, in the person of Jesus, and in Him it is permanently united to divine life. When faced with such love, such infinite love, what are we to do then? Our only response would be to love in return with every fibre of our being. Jesus told us what the main commandments are: love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might; and love your neighbour as yourself. These commandments are not an imposition upon us, a mere ruling that we must follow, but rather they lay it out loud and clear what our response to such love of God should be.
But what do we actually do?
We reject this love, again and again. We turn to ourselves, we trust ourselves, we ignore God and give Him no thanks. We do everything imaginable that is contrary to the correct and just response. God keeps coming at us heavy with love and sometimes we accept it, though many times we reject it. So what is God to do? He gave us free will and so He will not force us to love Him. The logical conclusion to a rejection of God's infinite love, to remaining in the darkness, to loving oneself - all free choices of ours - is Hell.

Confiteor

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti, beatae Mariae semper Virgini, beato Michaeli Archangelo, beato Joanni Baptistae, sanctis Apostolis Petro et Paulo, et omnibus sanctis, quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo et opere; mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Et ideo precor beatam Mariam semper Virginem, beatum Michaelem Archangelum, beatum Joannem Baptistam, sanctos Apostolos Petrum et Paulum, et omnes sanctos, orare pro me ad Dominum Deum nostrum.

Inclusive language and the decline in interest among younger women.

Here in Germany I am studying at the Seminar für Übersetzung und Dolmetschen (School for Translation and Interpreting) where I take some classes in interpreting and translation. The majority of these classes are held by the same Australian woman who is retiring next year. While this woman is an excellent teacher - truly outstanding - she has also clearly been heavily influenced by the modernist and feminist agendas of her age bracket (that of my parents and just a little older) for she is always banging on about using "they" instead of "he", which the Germans would do naturally. For her, she doesn't feel at all included in collective nouns such as mankind, brotherhood, or in German die Lehrer (which is strictly speaking the masculine plural of teacher - the exclusively feminine plural would be die Lehrerinnen, where the singular is die Lehrerin - feminine persons are usually ascribed the suffix -in, with the plural suffix being -innen). However, when questioning the German students in the class (the majority of which are female, like at home), they generally respond with indifference, saying that they DO feel included when they see a word like Studenten, Freunde, usw. and that they find the politically correct forms of StudentInnen or Student/innen to be cumbersome and stupid. More and more I am seeing that people of nowadays are actually less sensitive to the idea of language being dominated by masculinity, especially when feminizing it means making it more cumbersome. Although it is still definitely out there, it's clearly not as popular with the yoof of today as it was for those in the 60s.

Cassocks and vestments

A few days ago I read some of the comments on Father Z's blog WDTPRS on the Solemn Pontifical Mass at the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Washington DC for the anniversary of Benedict XVI as Pope. One of the comments said, with Fr Z's highlighting,

"During the vesting of the bishop before the mass, I was at first taken aback by what seemed like the worldliness of it all to me. One of the commentators mentioned that "the bishop doesn’t do this for his own glory but for God’s" and at first I reacted the way any red-blooded American college-aged male would: I thought it smacked of self-aggrandizement, with the cappa magna and the lace, and the assisting priests doing everything while Bp. Slattery looked on. But I began to think about how I can’t even bear to wear a button up shirt and tie, and I thought, "You know, if I were called to vest myself in that way, I would feel very burdened and a little silly, but I would do it for the solemnity of the occasion, to honor Christ." It really made me think about how even though a lot of Catholic tradition may seem worldly and self-seeking, I think it’s because our society gone the opposite direction of idealizing the "down-to-earth" and the "folksy" (and denigrating anything "uppity"), which is surely not how we should approach the Maker of Heaven and Earth!"

Yesterday as I was sitting on the bus, this comment popped into my head again, and I started to ponder the idea of vestments and cassocks. Indeed, a common remark on the Church and particularly on priests is that they wear "funny dresses". My father, a nominal Presbyterian, also questions sometimes why priests wear vestments, with the intention of saying that they do this for glory. But as the above commentator remarked, they are not exactly comfortable and are extremely showy - almost too much so for even the vainest of persons. So it is safe to say that they don't dress up like this in order to show off, but rather it is an act of humility to concede wearing such garments. Although they may be burdensome to wear, slightly impractical, and totally out of fashion, they reflect the great wonder and glory of God's action working through the priest or bishop. Indeed, they almost hide the person of the priest, showing that what they do is not of their own origin, but rather it comes from God. As the representative of Christ in the Mass, is it not fitting that they be the most visible and most eye-catching person there?

Now, people may concede that it is all very well for priests to be distinctive during Mass, but what is this fuss about cassocks? Why can't they just wear normal clothing? If they really must be identified outside of Mass for other reasons, such as the other sacraments, why not just use the dog collar? Of course, there are actually many priests who do just that - they wear normal jeans and t-shirts with a dog collar. However, as I thought further about the matter, I realised that, like wearing splendid vestments during Mass, wearing a cassock is an act of humility and submission. The priest, having surrendered his life to the will of God, surrenders also his choice of clothing, which can often be a marker of personality, taste, etc. By wearing the simple black cassock, the priest becomes more identifyable as a priest who serves God and His flock, and less identifyable as the priest who likes Doc Martins and Levi's, who supports Celtic or Aberdeen (Scottish Premier League football teams, neither of which, by the way, I support), who is always wearing the quaintest golf jumpers, etc. This is not to say that their personality does not matter, but it comes very far behind administering to the faithful. Indeed, I would even argue that their personality can be more easily discovered, as no prejudgements are made before meeting them based on what they wear.

Finally, cassocks show to the secular world that priests are in the world, evidenced by the fact that we can see them, but they are not of the world since they reject any current fashion trends, even general trends on the colour of clothes. They are still priests outside of Mass, still representatives of Christ, and therefore they are always be identifyable as being ready for those who need them by wearing cassocks. Let us pray for priests, that they may deepen their relationship with Jesus Christ and confort their hearts, minds and wills to His Heart.


St John Mary Vianney, pray for us! Pope St Pius V, pray for us!

Postal vote

WHY has my postal vote form NOT arrived? Don't they know that this will be my first time to vote for an MP? Not happy!

Good Shepherd Sunday

Last Sunday I went to the Extraordinary Form of the Mass for the first time since I arrived here in Heidelberg. And I must say that it was excellent. It was held in a relatively small church somewhat linked within the same Gemeinde or Seelsorgeeinheit as the Jesuitenkirche, in the same church where the only regular confession times are held and the only place for Eucharistic Adoration (the St. Anna Kirche that I mentioned in a previous post - clearly the orthodox place to be).
The mass started with an announcement of the fact that it was the 5th anniversary of the Holy Father's pontificate, and as a consequence, we would be singing and praying the Oremus pro Pontifice for the occasion. And thereafter Holy Mass proceeded. It was actually quite different from the Masses I went to in Nantes, where everyone was so clearly used to the EF, but here, where the small church was quite restrictive, it was perhaps less smooth. Nevertheless, they definitely managed it well. They had a "choir" of two men who could really belt out a tune and were perfect for the size of the church. The priest had a capable singing voice and his homily was the best homily I've probably heard here in Heidelberg. It was a very appropriate occasion to be talking of the Good Shepherd, where His vicar on earth is currently under much attack. I found the Oremus pro Pontifice entirely appropriate and beautiful.
Unfortunately, Holy Mass in the EF is nowhere near as common as in Nantes, and I believe the next one is in two weeks. The only other problem is that it is in the evening, which I really do not like, as I do not know what to do in the morning.

Here is the text of Oremus pro Pontifice:

V.Oremus pro Pontifice nostro Benedicto.
R. Dominus conservet eum, et vivificet eum, et beatum faciat eum in terra, et non tradat eum in animam inimicorum eius.

Pater noster. Ave Maria.

Deus, omnium fidelium pastor et rector, famulum tuum N., quem pastorem Ecclesiae tuae praeesse voluisti, propitius respice: da ei, quaesumus, verbo et exemplo, quibus praeest, proficere: ut ad vitam, una cum grege sibi credito, perveniat sempiternam. Per Christum, Dominum nostrum. Amen.

V. Let us pray Benedict, our Pope.
R. May the Lord preserve him, and give him life, and make him blessed upon the earth, and deliver him not up to the will of his enemies.

Our Father. Hail Mary.

O God, Shepherd and Ruler of all Thy faithful people, look mercifully upon Thy servant N, whom Thou hast chosen as shepherd to preside over Thy Church. Grant him, we beseech Thee, that by his word and example, he may edify those over whom he hath charge, so that together with the flock committed to him, may he attain everlasting life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Stupid stuff in Churches...

Over the course of the last few weeks, I've become more and more aware of how many churches are filled with ridiculous items. Here's a couple of snaps of some of the stuff I've seen recently:

With extreme eye-squinting and head-tilting one can detect the vaguest of corpora on the crucifix behind the altar. Also, I believe that obelisk pillar thing is the tabernacle. It was hard to know...
This is unfortunately the sanctuary of St Bonifatius Church in Heidelberg, which is otherwise very beautiful. Why did they have to put such rubbish in it? I mean, just look at the altar!

Below are some shots of Jesuitenkirche, which is a reasonably pretty church with not too much colour inside, though it's not like a conference room. However, they still managed to wheel in the local primary school art, sorry, professional modern art.

Here's the altarpiece, with the modern boring altar out of white marble. At least it doesn't dominate the church with its patheticness. I love the art at the back, depicting the coronation of Jesus by the Father, and the descent of the Holy Spirit on the Apostles, with Mary in the centre. Jesuitenkirche is dedicated to the Holy Spirit and St Ignatius Loyola (my confirmation saint). I believe the general church style is quite typical of Jesuit churches.

"Showing one's colours, one's colours shown" is what this "marvellous" piece is called, nicely rested against an unused confessional. I say chuck it and put the confessional back to use!


The red piece below is called "The Victim". I'm not quite sure what it's meant to be. I suppose you could say it's like someone on their hands and knees and covered in blood, but why so stupid and ugly?

A metal donkey. That's all their is to say.

Hanging from the ceiling are pictures of a series around the church called "Gott im Gefängnis" - God in Prison. Interesting perhaps in a modern art gallery, but not in a church, especially when the pictures contain half naked or fully naked people expressing some unorthodox viewpoints.

"Tower as a beacon"
Now this really IS primary school artwork. Today they used clay.



Actually, it was by some men's spirituality conference, like the "colours" one was the woman's spirituality conference.



As for the bone tower below, I hinna a scooby (no idea).

Pray for priests!

Too often does my mind formulate criticisms of various priests, like in the previous post, but then my heart doesn't move an inch to pray for them. How can we expect good priests if we don't pray for them? In this Year of Priests, and especially with the media attack on the priesthood, they need our prayers more than ever. Praying that they conform themselves to Christ, and their hearts to His Sacred Heart should be enough, but anything - your rosary, divine mercy chaplet, divine office - offer it and pray it for our priests!

Say the black, do the red!

When a priest is not wearing his chasuble for Mass, or you can see his stole (all of it), you know it's not going to go well and there's going to be a lot more to offer up.
So was it for me today at the Jesuitenkirche, as there was a different priest. My experience, while not as painful as the one in France, was pretty uncomfortable. Here are some reasons why:

• The priest wore no chasuble, as mentioned above,
• he greeted us with "The Lord be with us", giving rise to everyone awkwardly saying "And with your spirit",
• he ad libbed on the Collect, the Offertory and the Post-communion, talking endlessly,
• He referred to God as our mother as well as our father. I think this just confuses things, and it is not in accord with sacred scripture,
• he broke the host as he said "he broke it",
• the creed was a song (stick to the texts, people!!),
• the prayers of intercession were long and vague
• he walked the WHOLE length of the church (and it's a big church) to shake hands with people at the sign of peace
• he ad libbed everywhere, while at the same time talking of people who "take things too seriously"

I think his homily was actually not too bad, though I kind of switched off, as the sound quality wasn't great. I had the strong feeling that this priest was all for blurring the distinction between priest and laity, hence the "The Lord be with us" and the non-wearing of the chasuble, so he looked more like an altar server (who are wearing purple cassocks under their surplices. Let's hope there's less of this priest and more of the other. And of course, let us pray for the priest of today. Ss John Vianney and Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!
Lord Jesus, eternal High Priest, grant grace to the priests of our day, that they may mould themselves in your likeness, and devote themselves to your Sacred Heart, and to the Immaculate Heart of Your Mother. Amen.