On the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
The month of February is dedicated to the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Although the feast of the Holy Family falls on the Sunday in Christmastide (or the 30th of December if Christmas is on a Sunday, such as next Christmas), there are various reminders of the Holy Family throughout the year, including Candlemas, also known as the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord or as the Purification of the Virgin Mary, on the second of February.
The Holy Family offers to Christians and also to the whole of humanity the perfect model of a family. It is a family at the heart of which is love of God and love of each other. Examining this more concretely, we should be able to identify the marks of a loving family.
First of all, in fulfilling the Law perfectly, the Family would have prayed regularly throughout the day. They would have prayed the Psalms, the Tephillah and the Mezuzah. Joseph, and later Jesus when He was older, would have prayed the Shema. Christian families should therefore also imitate the Holy Family in the life of prayer. Much is to be said for the maxim that a family that prays together, stays together. This is because the family has God for its foundation, and so this foundation is as solid as a rock. Family prayer can consist of morning and evening prayer, prayers before and after meals, a daily rosary, and most importantly going to Mass together.The family is also the smallest social unit where one can be prepared for life outside the home. Parents learn the virtue of patience from bringing up their children and become more aware of the fact that they are seen as examples to follow. This reflects the calling that each Christian has, to be an example of Christ to the world. Children learn the virtue of obedience while living under the authority of their parents. This helps them learn obedience to God, who is everyone’s Father.
One cannot help but notice the disintegration of the family in today’s society. Vaguely aware of this, the world has started desperately trying to come up with new solutions to the family, as though it were a problem. Marriages are becoming less popular as people put their own interests and desires above true love. Children are seen as a burden for couples rather than the gift that they are. Curiously, in an age of widespread contraception and abortion, there are also an ever increasing number of people looking to try out artificial means of conception in order to have a child. While the great desire to have a child is commendable, this approach is also disordered as it sees children as a “right” and consequently allows for the relentless pursuit to obtain a child, even through morally objectionable means.
“Love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34)
When we look at the proper understanding of marriage, in which each spouse gives himself or herself to the other completely, in imitation of Christ’s giving on the cross for love of us all, then we become truly aware of the correct understanding of marriage. From this act of giving oneself, made complete and real in the sexual act, new life may come about, for true love is fruitful. For those married couples unable to conceive, they too may bear much fruit in their love and hospitality towards others. Some may give themselves in adopting a child, which is a loving and noble, if not quite difficult, thing to do.
It is also in this regard that homosexual marriages are impossible, as they cannot bear such fruit. The man, a type of Christ, gives himself, sacrifices himself for the sake of the woman, a type of the Church. Just as Christ and the Church “which is His body” (Ephesians 1:22-23) are one (1 Corinthians 10:17), so too are a husband and wife, types of Christ and His Church, the Head and the Body, one.
Husbands and fathers find their role model in Saint Joseph, who was a loving, chaste and holy guardian of the Holy Family. As a carpenter, he faithfully kept to the law of work and passed his skills on to Jesus, the creator of the universe. He carefully protected his wife Mary and supported her and his foster son.
Wives find their role model in Mary, most holy. Her greatness was not found in what she did but in her faith in God and in the love in which she kept her home by looking after her son, who has guided all creation, and supporting her husband Joseph.
While not everyone becomes a parent, all of us are children of our parents. In this regard, we all have Jesus as our role model for being a faithful and loving child to our parents. Ever more humble than we could conceive, the ruler, lover and guide of the universe allowed Himself to be under the authority of Mary and Joseph. He was taught the skills of His foster father Joseph. He was fed by His most holy mother Mary. He entered into the very heart of humanity, the family, so that all aspects of our lives may be sanctified. He sanctified childhood by being a child. He sanctified the teenage years by being a teenager. He sanctified adulthood by being an adult.
His foster father, at the hour of his death, had a most happy death with His saviour with him and his dearest wife, the mother of his saviour, at his side too.
His mother, while witnessing His own most cruel passion and death, was provided for by John’s provision. His last act on the cross was to care for His mother. In her own passing, our Lord assumed her into heaven, body and soul, to glorify her. In doing so, He fulfilled the commandment which lies at the heart of a family “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12).
Saint Paul also has instructions on family life.
“Let wives be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so also let wives be subject to their husbands in all things.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any; such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish. So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the church: Because we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh.
This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Another passage from Saint Paul’s letter to the Colossians also deals with family life. We heard this passage as the second reading on the Feast of the Holy Family just last year.
“Wives, give way to your husbands, as you should in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and treat them with gentleness. Children, be obedient to your parents always, because that is what will please the Lord. Parents, never drive your children to resentment or you will make them feel frustrated.” (Colossians 3:18-21)
These are hard passages. However, rather than writing them off as instructions for a bygone era, look at the comparisons Paul draws and the models he presents. Christ is no despot or dictator over the church but rather loves her even to the shedding of His precious blood. It is in this way that husbands are to love their wives. Wives are like the church, which is subject to Christ but this is not in the oppressive sense but rather in a most liberating way. The church is dynamic in the world and loving of Christ’s commandments. It is thus that a wife imitates the church.
Striving to imitate the Holy Family should bring great graces to that family.
A prayer to the Holy Family, from Catholic Culture.org:
O most loving Jesus, Who by Thy sublime and beautiful virtues of humility, obedience, poverty, modesty, charity, patience and gentleness, and by the example of Thy domestic life, didst bless with peace and happiness the family Thou didst choose on earth, in Thy clemency look down upon this household, humbly prostrate before Thee and imploring Thy mercy. Remember that this family belongs to Thee; for to Thee we have in a special way dedicated and devoted ourselves. Look upon us in Thy loving kindness; preserve us from danger; give us help in time of need, and grant us the grace to persevere to the end in the imitation of Thy Holy Family; that having revered Thee and loved Thee faithfully on earth, we may bless and praise Thee eternally in heaven.
O Mary, most sweet Mother, to thy intercession we have recourse, knowing that thy Divine Son will hear thy prayers.
And do thou, O glorious Patriarch, St. Joseph, assist us by thy powerful mediation, and offer, by the hands of Mary, our prayers to Jesus. Amen.
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