Purgatorio

For all I was moaning and complaining about the Mass I went to last week, that Mass was actually less excruciating than the Mass in the Extraordinary Form I've just come back from.
How so???
One biiig difference. I was able to receive the Lord last week, but not this week. Sitting in the pew while everyone else goes up for Communion is an awful experience, and I liken it to how it must be in purgatory. The worst thing was that I was sooo close to being able to receive him. There were confessions on at the side during Mass (something I've never seen before but I know it is allowed) and so I thought I would go. After much deliberation (as I hate standing up and walking along the nave during Mass) I went to wait in the queue at the Offertory. However, one of the women in front took a rather long time which meant that I was waiting in the queue throughout the entire canon and the consecration. So when the woman in front came out of the confessional, the priest came out too as he had to help distribute communion. Too late! I returned to my seat and suffered throughout the rest of the Mass. I think the Lord was teaching me a lesson though through this suffering. He made me appreciate again how absolutely wonderful, sublime and humbling it is that we are able to receive Him.

I'm still having trouble finding a Church that isn't stark raving bonkers here. There's still St Felix to attend, so I'll try that next week. Although the Mass I attended today was truly beautiful and dignified, I'm reluctant to go to the Extraordinary Form too often, as I say the Liturgy of the Hours in the Ordinary Form, and often they don't correlate (for example, today's Gospel in the EF was the cycle A Gospel, concerning the wedding feast - the weeping and grinding of teeth part was a bit like how I felt during communion). It becomes more problematic when it comes to feasts such as Christ the King, which is basically a month apart. Also, I believe the Divine Office should spring from the daily Masses and especially the Sunday Mass, which has its own propers for the Gospel Canticles, and so they should match. Nevertheless, I can't bring myself to go back to an ego-centric, personality worshipping Mass like the one last week. Hopefully St Felix is reasonably sane.